My father's personal assistant was the only adult female around when I first discovered blood in my panties. Luckily, she was packing some heavy sanitary pads and taught me how to use one. The teachers in our school had pulled us girls aside to discuss this rite of passage that most women have to take. The selection of feminine hygiene products, however, was under the purview of the parents. In my case, my father really did not know enough to help. Discussing menstruation is a taboo in many cultures, but it was not due to a lack of trying, but instead due to a lack of information that my father was puzzled.
Let me take some space here to discuss that. Sanitary napkins are usually a safe bet for young girls. Although cloth napkins are softer, they tend to leak and a girl on her first period certainly does not need that. None of us do. Sanitary napkins can be made of cotton or of synthetic materials, both have their benefits and drawbacks. Leave it to the comfort of your daughter. I would recommend the synthetic ones with wings for the first few times, and once she gets comfortable she can choose for herself.
Tampons are really hard for an eleven year old to wear unless there is some one to instruct her. I struggle with them even today, but there are many women who prefer tampons once they figure out where they go and how they work. The little thread that hangs from the tampon can cause infections, and in my case, major irritation. But tampons are much better to wear during physical exercise or sports. Research about the toxic shock syndrome, and make sure you use tampons in the recommended manner.
Today, 15 years after my menarche (start of my menstrual journey), I have switched to menstrual cups. They have changed my life. They are made of medically approved silicon grade rubber. They are better for the environment. I can sleep on my back without the fear of a leak. And they last for hours. Sanitizing the cup is a very important part of menstrual hygiene and they must be washed regularly. Learning how to use a cup was a bit of a struggle initially, but I soldiered on. The key is to relax, and not be scared of the cup, it does not get lost inside there. The vagina can expand to fit a baby's head. It cannot do that every month, but it can certainly expand enough for easy use of the cup. I have not tried menstrual discs yet, but they work on a similar principle.
When I was growing up, we did not have the internet to help us with such stories. I know if mine does not help, there are several better ones out there. There are YouTube reviews of sanitary products and I have found those very informative.
Moving on to menstrual cramps, they are different for every girl. They are normal. They are accompanied at times by an upset stomach. Heat helps to soothe the pain. Don't shy away from talking to a doctor, if the pain is too bad for you. It is all about making sure you are comfortable during this time.
It is hard to be comfortable when you are hormonal. You feel a lot of things at the same time, you act out of the ordinary. I have cried every month on the first day of my period for five years. Sometimes, I cry because I know it is only the first day of my period.
The nature, regularity, consistency and symptoms of periods vary person to person. Consult a gynecologist regularly to maintain your health, not only when you are in trouble. I do not know enough about PCOS, PCOD, endometriosis or other conditions to discuss them. There are support groups online that could offer support.
Every time I have my period I think of what a pain it is. But I know if my mother never had them, she would never have given birth to me. I think of my period as a lesson in motherhood, in the ability to endure pain with grace.